


The Nightmare

by Cody_Guli



Category: Fire Emblem Series
Genre: Cody Guli, FanFiction.Net, Fanfiction, Friendship, Gen, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Original Character(s), Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:34:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27962369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cody_Guli/pseuds/Cody_Guli
Summary: Inspired by current ongoing problems of mine, Cedric tells Seteth about a nightmare he experienced. Rated T for pre-story rant and mentions of depression and harm.





	The Nightmare

_Hey everyone. You’ve probably looked at the description for this fanfic and wondered “Uh oh, this doesn’t sound good.” And in that regard, you’re right. Allow me to rant for just a moment:_

_  
_ _It’s once again that time of year where emotions get the better of me, and it certainly has gotten the better of me this year no doubt. And it’s not just because of COVID-19 or election results or anything like that. It more or less has to do with my mental (and financial) state._

_Recently I had hit over 1,000 followers on TikTok and took it as a very big occasion. I never had 1,000 followers ANYWHERE, and while it IS a momentous occasion, I can’t help shake the feeling that I don’t deserve this amount of love. I feel more like it was given to me and not earned, a feeling I used to have as a Twitch streamer. I don’t want to have this train of thought because I know that these people care about me and my content, but the feeling is just too hard to shake._

_As for everything else, I decided the best way to explain it was what I enjoy most: writing. And since it had been ages since I did anything with my Fire Emblem OC, Cedric, I decided to attempt to write a fairly short fanfic detailing what I’m currently going through. And...well, let’s just get this over with._

* * *

There was a knock at the door of Seteth’s office. Considering it was very late in the evening, he could only assume it was one of three people. One, his sister Flayn, who on occasion had very bad dreams and wanted comfort from her brother. Two, Professor Byleth, wanting to share a late night chat with him and perhaps a cup of freshly-brewed tea. Or three, a student who came to Seteth to report suspicious activity or to request assistance on homework. Either way, he thought it would be rude to simply ignore the person on the other side of the door. Thus, he rose from his armchair with a soft grunt and made his way to the door, the book he had been reading still in his left hand. When the door had been opened, he found none other than Cedric standing before him.

Cedric had joined the Golden Deer class at the Officer’s Academy just two months before Lady Edelgard revealed herself as the Flame Emperor in the hopes of honing his lance skills, as well as his educational prowess. He was a die-hard student in lancefaire and riding techniques and had hoped to become an outstanding general, much like his late father. Seteth appreciated his work ethic and has continuously called him one of his favorite students, even after the other students went their separate paths following the fall of the Monastery. Even with the defeat of Lady Edelgard and The Immaculate One, Cedric still devoted himself to constant studying and practice. Although he was often one to stay up late studying, he was clothed in sky blue pajamas and his long forest green hair was still held back at the hairline by his red headband, though it was a tad messy. His eyes slowly blinked as they met Seteth’s.

“Good evening Cedric,” Seteth said without hesitation. “Is there something you need from me at this hour?”

“Indeed,” Cedric replied half-awake. “I thought I would come tell you because you’re one of the few professors I can trust with this information.” He immediately regretted his wording after watching the expression on Seteth’s face changed to a more concerned look. Regardless, Seteth ushered him into the office and closed the door behind him. He had offered Cedric some tea, but Cedric kindly refused. He sat back down, placing the book on the end table and crossing his legs neatly.

“Now then,” he said, “what sort of information are you trusting me with? Is it another bandit raid near the outer regions of Garegg Mach?”

Cedric shook his head.

“Is it a remnant faction of the Adrestian Empire plotting to attack?”

Cedric once again shook his head and said, “No.”

“Then what is it if you don’t mind me asking?”

Cedric sighed and put a hand on his cheek, leaning on the arm of the chair he sat in. “Professor Seteth,” he said, “do you ever have nightmares?”

“Everybody has nightmares at some point in their lives, Cedric. It’s completely natural. But to answer your question in more brief terms, yes.”

“Well…” A pause. “This nightmare I had...it felt too real.”

“Too real how?”

Cedric took a deep breath and steeled himself for what he was about to say. “I felt an

overwhelming sense of oppression, like I had no control over my life or my choices. I felt like I was a shadow to the world, unable to be seen or heard no matter how many times I called out. I had no confidence in myself, and I felt myself slowly deteriorating like rust on metal. I felt alone, sad, angry, reckless...I felt like my time had to come to an end, that I could do nothing more in this life, and that it was time for me to put an end to myself. And then I saw my friends, my father, my professors, calling out to me and begging me to fight on. I saw the Flame Emperor standing over me, about to strike me down. I called for help from my friends, but for some reason the voices grew quieter almost as soon as I could hear them. And then, they were gone, and I was once more alone, just like that. Alone in darkness, alone in sorrow. And that’s when I woke up, unable to breathe so much as comprehend what just happened.”

Seteth leaned back in his chair, shocked and befuddled over what he just heard. The two sat in silence for a moment, barely making eye contact with each other, before Cedric shook his head and replied, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have put that much on you-”

“Don’t apologize,” Seteth cut in.

“Huh?”

“These feelings in your nightmare, do you feel them right now or at any point during the day?”

Cedric nodded. “I just feel like I’m being controlled by some unknown entity, not by myself.”

“Life is a difficult challenge to overcome, Cedric. But trust me when I say this: I still consider you to be not just my favorite students of all time, but my favorite peer as well. You put in more work than most people have back in your days at the Academy, even more work than Ignatz I might say. I’m proud of that as well as your courage and compassion on the battlefield. Whereas some soldiers fight for revenge or glory or power, you fight for the others around you, people who care about you and love you like family. And that includes me, Flayn, and your professors.” Seteth paused for a moment as he stood once more and walked over to his desk.

“Conflict is inevitable, whether we’re fighting others or fighting ourselves. However, it is always possible to overcome it. All it takes is one small spark. So just remember Cedric that we, especially myself, will always care about your wellbeing here. And if at any time you have these sorts of dreams again, do not hesitate to speak to someone. Understood?”  
“Yes, Professor Seteth,” Cedric replied.  
“Please, just call me Seteth.”

“Right...I should probably head back to bed. I’m training with Shamir again in the morning.”

“Rest well, Cedric, and remember: we do care about you and will always be here for you.”

* * *

_With a few weeks left in 2020, I seriously hope that things can turn around for me quickly._

_At this point I don’t want exposure for my problems. I just need the kind words and compassion of a friend or a loved one, whether it be my girlfriend or my family. For now, I just have to keep fighting this fight with my brain until I come out alive. Although I HAVE gone on hiatus on TikTok, I’m not letting these problems force me into another writing hiatus, so stay tuned and thank you for understanding. Much love to you all._


End file.
